Why Poland is better than Ireland… and why it’s not

I’ve often thought the Polish are the Irish of Eastern Europe–they’re Catholic, they eat a lot of potatoes, they move to other countries to work in the building trade–but a recent visit to Krakow and Tarnow made me realize that Poland is infinitely superior to Ireland in so many ways. Except for the ways in which it is not.  Here is how things add up. + is why Poland is better than Ireland and – is why Ireland is better. I’m leaving other countries out of it because things would just get too messy otherwise.

+ It is warm enough for bare arms and legs in May, even if the sun goes behind a cloud

+ Sometimes the sun is not behind a cloud

This can occur for days at a time

 Bugs as well as people thrive in this sort of environment 

The streets have street signs

+ Restaurants and homes have napkins on the table

 Restaurants often have smokers at the table, and Eastern European cigarettes are a special kind of smelly

+ There are bagel vendors everywhere

 They eat just as many potatoes, but they peel them before cooking

+ There is more than one kind of good draft beer

 But good coffee or black tea are hard to find

+ But the automated “espresso” machines are kind of funny, and you pay way less for the bad coffee than you would in Ireland

 but in Ireland these days, there’s a fair chance you’ll get a good coffee 

+ They have cheap trains with windows that open

+ It is warm and dry enough that you might choose to do this

+ The streets have street signs

 Poland is even more monocultural than Ireland

+ They speak a different language where letters make funny sounds

 They speak a different language where letters make funny sounds

+ Did I mention they have street signs?

+ And bagels!?!

Published in: on May 25, 2009 at 8:55 PM  Leave a Comment